Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
