He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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