First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize