NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
