He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
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