you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
