I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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