problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
