Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
