my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
