Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
