He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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