i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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