I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
