Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
