the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
