wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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