seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
