and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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