My sheets look like a crime scene.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
