yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
