Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
