happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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