PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
