You're so nebulous sometimes
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
