It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Who died my cat blue again?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
