i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
