She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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