Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
