Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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