My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
you told grandpa to call you daddy
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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