did you get engaged???
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
