tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I just had sex on a roof
he just fucked me for my cheese.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize