Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
