im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
