the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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