I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
