So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
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