new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
