You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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