Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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