I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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