He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
