The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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