god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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