whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize