I can't breathe out the right side of my face
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
