i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
