Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
