I can tuck mytits in my pants
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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