i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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