you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
If its not for food we ain't going out.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize