In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Found your dick twin last night
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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