Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
