her vagina looked like bernie madoff
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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