the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
i drank out of a bidet.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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