she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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