Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
