So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
