After last night, I could never be a politician.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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