I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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